Not how do you do, what do you do.

Why do we gravitate toward doing things we want to do rather than the things we think we should do? How does it become challenging and difficult to do things we once loved so much and gave so much importance to? Is it a loss of interest? Is it due to life's many distractions—the Internet, relationships, work? Is it just part of growing up? Do people grow out of the things they love...their once upon a time passion or dreams? Is it even OK to be idle and comfortable--or is that being lazy and a borderline parasite (laziness has a scale)? Is it time that seems like a constraint or like something that will always be there, and so there is no need to rush?

My favorite character, Paul (formerly Saul) says, "For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice" in Romans 7:19 (NKJV). I know I am not the only one who struggles or has struggled with having the desire to get something done, but not actually doing it...or doing the opposite/nothing.

Priorities play a big factor; as does will and desire. I am a firm believer in "if you want to do or get something enough, there is nothing that will stop you from making it happen." Time is added to your schedule, preparations are made, you think every step or at least the first, and you get it [done].

I'm not sure if it's post-college life and the thrills of working, but I haven't been as dedicated to making time for some things I feel like I should do. I want to feel bad -- and even mentioning this may mean some guilt is in there, but I enjoy not being [pro]/active. I wonder if it's because much of my energy is projected toward other places that aren't necessarily nourishing (mind, body, and soul) for the time spent.

Time is money; and time is life. Each moment that we use and each moment that we "waste" is time that could have been spent on something else. What is the best thing to do right now for today and tomorrow?

So now I'm just thinking about what to do each day, every moment, every opportunity to live... How to be better. It is 2015.

Did I ever say 'hello'?


Disclaimer: This was not my first time to New York and I've been several times. But this is the first time I went to NY independently of age and with no agenda. It was phenomenal. Check out pics from my 2014 transition, from DC to Philly to NYC.

Being alive is not enough.

Stop. Sit still. Watch. Listen. Be aware of your surroundings. Take note.

Where is your mind in every situation? Are you present or, like me, thinking of the possibilities?

The last year or two has not been the same. I would write, but not post. My travels and adventures have taken me to many places that I want to share…but I have not. I am the only one to blame for not focusing on what matters most - who I am and where I am going.

Can you believe I am still trying to pick up the pieces from when I left Australia? My mind must have surely been frazzled to the maxx! It's been 3 years now, but I am still on the road to recovery. I am still so very grateful that I am where I am today…so happy to be alive and well.

However, being alive is not enough anymore. I want to live. I need to breathe! I long to feel again.

I've had the opportunity to reflect in the last few months. And I've honestly avoided this in the last 2 years and focused more on making memories disappear or go dormant until I'm ready to write them out (book date TBD).

A key theme since the commencement of 2015? The past is over. It cannot move with you unless you bring it. There are enough troubles for today…and tomorrow!

I just feel like I'm in a different place - which is most definitely a good thing. I just need to figure out where to go from here. My heart is in a difficult place.

At least I know, I'm physically in Las Vegas.

More to come...and memories to share.

Matthew 6:34 (NKJV) - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

~*all things new*~